Sunday, February 21, 2010


I don't have anything much to say.
The week has been taxing for me, and stringing words together in sentences to capture how I'm feeling or where I am right now will demand more of me than I can presently give.
Since I said I wanted to write every two weeks at least, I'm going to give you something.
Even if the words are not my own.
Wherever you are, thank you for being a part of my life.
I hope your day is lovely.
I promise another post soon.

Now, for a poem from Anis Mojgani, a spoken word poet (who came to Heavy and Light).
I respect this man very much.

take care of you.
and remember hope.

love to you from miles away.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

This Beautiful Day

Today has blended into the early parts of tomorrow, but this day is too good to end yet.
Sometimes, good days begin with the night before.
This is one such case.
I shall recount my simple pleasures here.

Yesterday afternoon, I left work and ventured to the library.
Brevard County is thick with wonderful public libraries.
I am slowly but completely falling in love with them.
Since there are several branches (the towns in Brevard are spread out), the times vary with some staying open later on particular days.
I had to drive to Cocoa Beach since it was open after work.*
Despite the sudden downpour, I was smiling and excited.
It was Friday, and I had good books to read, and I was going to dinner with Chloe.**
While I waited for Chloe to finish with work, I read Scarlett Fever by Maureen Johnson.
It's a sequel, and I just ate it up.
Her writing is witty and layered and incredibly funny.
After going to TGI Friday's and enjoying some wine with dinner and long conversation, I headed home full and feeling renewed.
There is a new depth you reach when you fill the air with conversation because you enjoy another's company for hours after the food is gone and drinks are finished.
I went to sleep feeling the most content I have in the last few weeks.

Due mostly to my wine indulgences and partially to my being tired from the work week, I slept in until noon.
My sleep was deep and thick with dreams, but not the kind that drain you of rest.
I began my day by finishing Maureen's book.
Although it ended on a crazy teetering cliffhanger, I loved all of it.
Then, I got ready to go out for the day.
I put on make-up because I wanted to.
I don't like wearing it when I feel like I have to.
I wasn't doing anything specific today to merit make-up wearing, but I wanted to fix myself up for a date with myself.
To some, a date with yourself can seem weird, but they are part of my mental health.

I ended up talking to my sister on the phone while sitting in the Chick-fil-a parking lot for over an hour.
Talking to my mom and my sister regularly make me feel more connected to home and North Carolina.***
Then, I just went to Target.
Most of you know I don't just go into places like Target to wander.
I go to the mall to wander sometimes, but not Target.
When I make a trip to Target, I know exactly what I'm getting, and I get it and get out.
Tonight, however, was a different occasion.
It is a result of a very happy and unexpected discovery--the Target I went to has copies of Bright Star.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, just google the movie and then rent it.
It's amazing.

Last semester, it kinda changed my life.
I was, yet again, on a date with myself when I went to watch it in the theater.
I was mesmerized by Ben Whishaw's portrayal of John Keats and intrigued by the letters and the poetry.
I've never been very good with poetry, reading and understanding it, especially the old stuff.
Mr. Keats and the story of his life in this movie made me want to change that.
This fascination and desire to know more and study eventually (combined with several other things, of course) led to me deciding that I definitely want to go to graduate school for English.
As I'm sure you can gather, I've wanted this movie in my collection since I first saw it.
I hadn't been able to find it in stores until tonight.

So cheerful I was about finding the film on DVD that I went on a wander through the rest of the store.
I thought there may be more treasures just waiting in the other nooks.
I left with another movie, a three dollar pair of shoes, lotion, and a bottle of wine.
But my head was in the clouds.
I mean, don't you know that feeling when you were a kid of seeing the most awesome toy in the toy aisle, the one that you saw advertise on TV in commercials?
It's like the toy wants to come home with you, and to your surprise, your mom says sure.
The giddy grin stays on your face long after you leave the store.
That's what my simple purchases at Target were like tonight.

In the excitement of getting to watch Bright Star whenever I wanted, I read a short biography of John Keats in the bookstore after Target.
I checked the book out of the library yesterday.
Keats's biographies are difficult to find.
They're never in bookstores, and I haven't found many in libraries.
I want to read Andrew Motion's bio of Keats****, but it hasn't arrived for pick-up at the library yet.
Upon finishing the biography, I returned home for a late but quite enjoyable dinner of salad, pasta, and fish.

Today has been serene and beautiful.
I'm glad I got to share it with you. :)
I guess I'm so thankful for this day because of the majority of crappy ones I've had lately.
Having a day as good as this one hasn't happened for a while.
It teaches us to be appreciative.
Good days wouldn't be near as good if we didn't have the bad days to compare them to.
Have you had this experience recently?

I hope your soul is warm and your heart is light.
Breathe deep and have a lazy Sunday.
Let me know what you're reading and what you think about it in the comments.
Remember that you are loved.
Know that you are important to me.
Thank you for reading.

take care of you.


*contrary to popular belief, Cocoa and Cocoa Beach are completely separate towns. And when you live on the mainland, driving beachside feels so far away.

**Chloe is a friend from work. She's in charge of the street team and benefits, but she does a whole lot of other shit that doesn't even get a title.

***Obviously, not rocket science, but its importance for my sanity and well being should not be understated.

****His book inspired Jane Campion to write and direct the film.